I read an article the other day called “Eulogy to a Great Dad“. The author’s dad just passed away and he was writing about some of the lessons that he had learned from his father. Fortunately for me, my dad is still alive and doing great, but reading this article caused me to reflect on some of the lessons that he taught me.

This article also helped me to reflect on my life as a dad of three young kids and to think about the big lessons that I want to teach them.

Lesson #1: Go on an Adventure

When I was about 12, my dad took my brother and I to see a Detroit Tigers game. I don’t remember too much about the game, but I do remember the route that we took home. Instead of taking a freeway that would bring us directly to our house, he decided to take us home by driving on a bridge to Canada and then using a car ferry to get back to our house in Michigan. This may sound like a crazy trip, but it probably only added an hour to our drive.

I wish that I could tell my dad that I loved this two hour drive, but I really don’t remember actually loving it. However, this drive helped to instill a sense of adventure in me that I still have now. It helped me to realize that we don’t always need to take the easy way home or the easy way to wherever we are trying to go. Instead, sometimes the journey can be even better than the destination.

For me, adventure can happen no matter where I am at. Just last weekend, I dropped my son off early for a hockey game so that he could warm up with his team. Instead of just sitting in the ice arena and being bored, my other son and I took a walk through the surrounding neighborhoods and parks. We were able to play catch with a football, run through the park, and have some conversations that we probably wouldn’t have had if we were stuck in the ice arena.

Sometimes in life we need to reinstate our child-like curiosity. An adventure, even if it is just a couple of blocks from our house, will allow our curiosity and wonder to flourish.

Lesson #2: Believe in Your Kids

One of the things that my dad really does well is to believe in me. He does such a good job with this that he often believes in me even more than I believe in myself.

For instance, when I was 15, my dad took me driving for the first time. I started by driving very slowly around a vacant parking lot. Around and around I went at 3 miles per hour. After about 4 minutes of this, my dad decided that he had enough with the boring parking lot.

“Why don’t you pull out onto the road?” he suggested.

After trying to talk him out of this, I finally pulled the car out onto a 50 mile per hour road.

I was completely terrified, but managed to drive the car very slowly down the road. Luckily, there was a real wide shoulder and little traffic on this road, so we managed to survive this trip.

Although I was a brand new driver, my dad still believed in me and I was driving fine after a few minutes. He knew that I would never learn anything if I stayed in the vacant parking lot for too long, so he gave me a little push.

Fortunately, this event didn’t deter my dad’s faith in me. Despite my lack of knowledge and skill, he would often bring me to jobs that he set up in his work as a carpenter. One day, I was helping him paint the outside of a three story, commercial building. After I painted some of the trim near the ground, he pointed up to the top of the building and told me that I would be going up there after I was done to do some more painting.

Sure enough, within a few minutes I was on a 40 feet commercial ladder climbing my way to the top. If you’ve ever been on a 40 foot ladder, you know that it can be quite scary to climb up it, especially while holding paint supplies in your hand. Although I was quite tentative while climbing the ladder, I was able to climb it, paint the trim at the top of the building, and climb down safely.

In an era where parents may coddle their kids a bit too much, we need to continue to show our kids how much we believe in them. This will allow kids to develop confidence and eventually become adults who are confident or at least willing to try many new things.

Lesson #3: Work Hard

One of the most constant things that my dad taught me was the value of hard work. As a carpenter who owned his own business, he would work 5-6 days per week, often driving one hour or more to work and making business calls when he got home in the evening. He would also help to make sure that everything was cleaned up at home and he fixed everything that tended to break around the house.

I definitely knew that my dad was a very hard worker who would do his best to support his family. Of course, the cool thing about him working hard was that he was able to pass this down to me. Now, hard work is one of my core values in life and something that I am striving to pass down to my kids.

Appreciate Others

Overall, one of the main things that the article “Eulogy to a Great Dad” taught me is the value of appreciating others. It reminded me that I need to take time in my life to show my family what they mean to me and to appreciate the lessons that they taught me.

It also reminded me to think about the lessons that I want to teach my kids and to make sure that my actions reflect these lessons and values of mine.

What are some lessons that your father (or mother) taught you? And, even more importantly, what are some lessons that you want to pass on to the next generation?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the comments.

And thanks for reading!

~Nathan

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