I Feel Like an Imposter

One of my most vivid memories occurred when my oldest son, Nathan, was 2 days old. We brought him home from the hospital and set him on our bed. As we were standing there looking at him, I suddenly realized that I did not know how to take care of a child.

“So what do we do now?” I remember asking my wife.

They didn’t give us a manual on how to raise a kid. As a matter of fact, they didn’t even check my work over when I buckled him into the car seat.

Even though my wife and I read all of the parenting books and had the ability to provide for our new son, I kind of felt that I was an imposter at this whole parenting thing.

For me, feeling like an imposter hasn’t been something that I grew out of after I had my first kid. Intellectually, I know I am good at my job and a good parent and husband. I know that I am pretty good with money and I’m even a good runner.

But throughout my life, I have always felt a little bit like a fraud. While researching this a bit, I discovered that this is called imposter syndrome. I also discovered that around 70% of people have experienced imposter syndrome before. Even someone as famous and as talented as Maya Angelou has felt like a fraud.

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh. They’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'”

The problem with being a fraud

As Maya Angelou has experienced, being a fraud can be very difficult. Even after experiencing so much success, she still felt like she was going to be “found out.”

When we feel like someone is going to expose us as a fraud, we may be unwilling to put ourselves out there. Maybe we will not ask for a raise or seek out tougher opportunities at work because we feel like we really don´t deserve these opportunities.

We may also struggle with asking people out and making good friends. Feeling like we are never quite good enough seems to make many things in life difficult.

Everyone is an imposter

However, once we find out that 70% of people have experienced imposter syndrome, then we shouldn’t feel too bad. You (and I) are not alone, despite what we might think. As a parent, I still don’t feel like I have everything together and I definitely still feel like an imposter. I sometimes don´t even think that I am qualified to be an adult even though I am 41 years old.

But … you probably feel the same way …

And your parents probably felt like frauds and imposters as they were raising you.

I remember as a child thinking that my 33-year-old dad knew everything that there was to know about life. I always felt like he had it all together and was extremely smart. But then I turned 33 and I realized that I didn’t have it all together. As I thought about it more, I realized that my dad probably didn’t have it all together either. He was probably struggling through parts of his life just like you and I are.

Fortunately, that’s OK! Even though we may feel like imposters, we are not alone.

Overcoming imposter syndrome

We have established that you, me, and many other people suffer from imposter syndrome. But what can we really do about it? And how can we make sure that being an imposter doesn’t affect our relationship with money?

Perfection is not necessary

The first thing to do is realize that we do not need to be perfect. Even with money, which can seem complex, perfection is not necessary. Honestly, it is not even desirable!

Investing: When we are looking to invest money, we don’t need to make sure that we have the best stock or mutual fund available. As a matter of fact, it´s almost impossible to find mutual funds that will beat the market (especially when fees are taken into account). Instead of obsessing over finding the correct mutual fund, all that we have to do is invest in index funds that mirror the return of the stock market. As I have written, just investing in a low-fee index fund can save you over $200,000.

Debt: Although getting out of debt is hard to do, it is not complex. It just involves figuring out why you want to get out of debt and then getting radical with it. As Dave Ramsey says, “Sell so much stuff that the kids think they are next.” You don’t need a PhD in economics to get fierce with your debt. You just need to make sure that getting out of debt is a huge priority.

Spending: I have tried to clip coupons, use online shopping portals, and purchase discounted gift cards online to save money on shopping. But sometimes, as I am struggling with trying to be perfect with spending, it helps to realize that simply shopping less is the best thing that we can do to save money. Once we realize that happiness cannot be found in a store, we will save a ton of money on our spending.

Learn, but don’t obsess

The second way to overcome imposter syndrome is to learn a little more about a topic. For instance, we can read a couple of books or blogs about getting out of debt. This allows us to see some different perspectives on it and become educated about simple ways to get out of debt.

However, sometimes people with imposter syndrome tend to overdo the learning part. Instead of focusing on debt, many will obsess to make sure that the debt gets paid down in the most optimal way possible. This may lead to excessive worrying about getting the best possible rate instead of working hard to actually get the debt paid down.

If we feel like we are an imposter, then we may spend all of our time learning instead of taking action. Of course, this brings us to our final way to control imposter syndrome with our money.

Start

The final thing that we can do is take action. If we want to be less of an imposter with money, then we should start saving today. As we begin to save, we will find out about the best places to put our money. It doesn’t matter if we do not get the best interest rate right away. It just matters that we actually get started.

We should also start investing. This is something that is a little bit trickier because you could actually lose money investing. However, after we get comfortable with the risk that we are taking, then we should get started.

Again, the best way to overcome imposter syndrome is to simply get started.

Start paying off debt, start shopping less, start saving and investing.

The bottom line is, it’s time to start!

Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome? What did you do to overcome it and how are you taking action with your money today? Let us know in the comments.

And thanks for reading!

~Nathan

Let’s keep living a great life … with the help of money. So what’s next?

• You can travel for free by using rewards credit cards.
• You can get motivated and get out of debt.
• You can check out the next post or the previous post and continue to learn.

But no matter what you decide to do, let’s leave the ordinary behind and take action today!