In last week’s article, I wrote a bunch of lies. Instead of focusing on becoming rich, we should focus on frugal analogs to wealth (whatever that means) and finding happiness through our relationships with others.
What a bunch of crap!
You and I both know that we really just want to become filthy, stinking rich. We want a solid gold fountain in our front yard, a 400 foot long yacht, and 12 homes on 4 different continents. Who cares about relationships? Once we are rich, we will have thousands of “friends.”
Lucky for you, it is extremely easy to become a millionaire. And I’m just the person to show you how. So let me be your guide on your path to extreme wealth and let me show you 9 EXTREMELY EASY ways (and 1 super lame way) to become a MILLIONAIRE!!!
Way #1: Donate plasma
Do you know that you can make $50 every time that you donate plasma? Obviously this is true because you can see the blue link to another website (and everything that’s online is true).
Now I’m going to do some math (don’t worry, I hate math too) and figure out how often you would need to donate plasma to become a millionaire … Hey cool, it’s only 20,000 times!
All that you have to do is donate plasma once per hour, every single day, and you will be a millionaire in just over two years! If that isn’t simple, then I don’t know what is!
Way #2: Complete online surveys
Holy cow! Bloggers really love to suggest completing online surveys!
Obviously, that is because they will make you rich. I received something in the mail the other day saying that I could make $5 for completing an online survey. Boom … easy money!
After completing this survey, I had a crisp $5 bill in my hand and it only took me about 10 minutes to do it.
So here’s what I figure. If I complete 6 of these surveys per hour and work for 24 hours per day, I will be a millionaire in 3.80517504 years (check out that math)!
What if I completed online surveys while donating plasma? Mind blown!!!
Way #3: Return pop cans
Do you know that you can get 10 cents for every pop can (not soda can since I’m from the Midwest) that you return in the state of Michigan? I think that I hear the cash register in your head going off. CHA-CHING!!! Easy Money!
All that you have to do is return 10,000,000 pop cans. I know that it sounds like a lot, but if you return just one can per second, then you will become a millionaire in … wait for it … just under four months!
I wish that I had known about this when I was returning pop cans for money back in middle school. Instead of 4 months of math class, I would have been a millionaire! Luckily, Newman and Kramer from the show Seinfeld figured out the secret.
Way #4: E-bates or Rakuten (whatever the heck it is called)
Have you seen all those commercials for Rakuten? It’s this online shopping site where you get paid $25 for referring a friend.
Well … I know all about this and I even signed this website up to be an affiliate for Rakuten. So far, I have referred thousands of people (actually just my wife and some guy named Tim – thanks, Tim). But thousands of people are coming!
Anyways, if you make $25 per referral, then you just need to refer 40,000 people and you are an automatic millionaire. Think of it this way. You tell 5 friends, they tell 5 friends, and then this happens only 5 more times. Guess what, now you’re a millionaire. BTW … here’s my link (hint hint).
Way #5: Vegas, baby!
At the casino, there’s a great game called roulette. All that you have to do is spin a wheel. This will activate a metal ball that will spin around and land on one of the numbers from 0 to 36. If it lands on your number, you win some money.
It sounds pretty easy, but it also sounds like pretty long odds since there are lots of numbers on the wheel. But here’s the secret: About half of the numbers are red and half of them are black. So just bet on one color and you’ll have odds that are about 50:50!
Let’s see what will happen …
- Bet $5 and win … you have $10. Now you should double down and bet all of this money on black or red again.
- Bet $10 and win … now you have $20. Guess what you’re gonna do? Let it ride, baby!!
- Bet $20 and win … now you have $40.
- $40 turns to $80.
- $80 turns to $160.
- $160 turns to $320.
- $320 turns to $640. At this point, you probably have a group of people around you because you’ve won 7 times in a row. Some of them are probably encouraging you to stop playing or at least keep some of your money. IGNORE THEM!
- $640 turns to $1,280.
- $1,280 turns to $2,560.
- $2,560 turns to $5,120.
- $5,120 turns to $10,240.
- $10,240 turns to $20,480.
- $20,480 turns to $40,960. Think of the crowd that you have around you now!
- $40,960 turns to $81,920.
- $81,920 turns to $163,840.
- $163,840 turns to $327,680.
- $327,680 turns to $655,360.
- $655,360 turns to $1,310,720!!!
All you had to do is win 18 times in a row and you are an instant millionaire! I’d probably keep going and become a deca-millionaire or a billionaire. I might even try to become the richest man in the world. How easy!!!
Way #6: Duh … the lottery
Honestly, I’m surprised that you haven’t thought of this one on your own yet. All you have to do is go to the store, buy a Mega Millions ticket, (notice the link … that’s how you know this information is accurate) and wait until Tuesday.
$127,000,000!!!
Imagine if you bought a lottery ticket on the way to Vegas!
Way #7: Make your own coffee
This way is not quite as good as Vegas or the lottery, but you will still become a millionaire. It’s such a good and easy way to become a millionaire, that a lot of financial bloggers write about it. David Bach even wrote a book called The Latte Factor (notice the Amazon link: I’m getting rich!) that has a dollar sign floating in a cup of coffee.
Even I, an always humble blogger, have published my own article about coffee and the library and getting rich. It’s called “Drink Coffee and Become a Millionaire,” or something like that.
Anyways, all that you have to do is make your own coffee at home instead of going to Starbucks or some expensive place like that. Every morning, toss the money that you save ($5 or so), into a coffee can on your counter. In 548 years, you will have one million dollars!
If you want to get there faster, just drink more coffee! Going from 1 cup per day to 20 cups per day means that you would save $100 per day. Then it would only take you 27 years to get there!!!
Way #8: Sell stuff around the house
I had a garage sale before and made around $80. I didn’t even sell that much good stuff.
Now imagine that you had a garage sale every single day!
Boom! At 80 bucks per day, you would become a millionaire in only 34 years!
Way #9: Make more money
You and I might make some amount of money like $40,000 or $100,000 per year. How pathetic!
If you want to be a millionaire, you just have to make more money. If you make $500,000 per year, you can become a millionaire in only 2 years. $1,000,000 per year means that it will only take you 1 year.
So the plan is to march into your bosses’ office and demand a raise. Your boss will probably offer some small percentage raise like 3% or 6%. Make sure that you laugh in his or her face. Keep doing this until your boss eventually gives you the amount of money that you are worth. At a minimum, you should ask for $400,000.
Way #10: Save and invest your money
Okay, this last way is super lame and boring. But … you could also save and invest your money.
If you invest $1,000 per month in the stock market … and the stock market earns 8% … then you will be a millionaire in about 26 years.
Again, I wouldn’t use this method because it takes too long and it requires too much work. Becoming a millionaire is supposed to be easy!
I thought of 9 great ways to become a millionaire and 1 super boring way. Let us know in the comments other ways that you have thought of (save the boring ways for another article, though … we’re all about getting rich the quick and easy way)!
And thanks for reading!
~Nathan
Let’s keep living a great life … with the help of money. So what’s next?
- You can travel for free by using rewards credit cards.
- You can get motivated and get out of debt.
- You can check out the next post or the previous post and continue to learn.
But no matter what you decide to do, let’s leave the ordinary behind and take action today!
